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Career & Money : Work : Relationships
Debunking infidelity myths
It's possible that everything you think you know about affairs and cheaters is wrong. » Only bored, unhappy men?
1. Be each other's number one confidant. You shouldn't be sharing private thoughts with others that you're not sharing with your mate.
2. Make time to connect on a regular basis. Daily moments of connection help you build a sense of togetherness and shared purpose.
3. Don't let family time squeeze out just-the-two-of-you time. Relationships that are too child-centered are at high risk for an affair.
4. Recognize when you're temporarily attracted to someone else. It doesn't mean there's something wrong with your relationship -- or that you have to act on it.
5. Surround yourself with people who believe in you and your relationship. If you're ever tempted and don't feel like you can tell your mate, you'll have someone else to confide in who will steer you straight. And if one of you does stray, you'll have a strong support network to help you put your relationship back together.
Women need to know how to ask men for what they want directly, and in a rational, not emotional manner. Men respond much better to "Honey, will you take out the garbage?" than to a whiney "The garbage can is overflowing, and it smells bad" or "I have to do everything around here."
Men need to learn to listen to women's feelings. Women do not always respond to a direct request; they do better when feelings are addressed. Saying "Wait til the game is over, honey" will be received by a woman as disregarding her feelings. "I'm sorry it's bothering you, sweetheart, I'll take it out as soon as there's a commercial break" will let her know you care about her feelings, and she'll be happier.
"All we do is talk." We all know some guys have a penchant for avoiding deep conversation. Many guys have friends who claim they never fight with their spouses, or maybe he had parents who shielded him from marital tension. A few too many challenging conversations and your man may wonder if all the stress is a sign of a bad relationship.
The Solution: Quality communication is all about picking the right moment. A long, difficult day at work is not the best precursor to a difficult conversation. Relaxing on the couch, in a low- stress moment, is a much better option. You can also seek out another couple who is willing to be honest about relationship tension that all couples face. Seeing this other couple deal with the same issues might help him realize you're not alone in facing relationship hurdles.
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