Aikido as a way of comunication

Carnegie
Cungi


Today, a friend ("lawyer") had an situation at his propriety with a neighbour. He decided to take the matter on his own hands and wanted to go to persuade the neighbour, directly. He knew that they had taugh times before. So I suggested that he should write an official letter instead, and he wanted to mail it. ... At the end I asked: Are u sure that ur problem is caused by the neighbour ? Have u checked ? ... After some debate, he agreed to take my advices ... It had proved that was an mistake.

The conclusions:
* If we act upon impresions, experiences, expectations we may be the one starting conflicts.
* Is better to think the solution, rather than react
* solve conflicts in the proper manner (formal, use the authorities), instead of direct approach

He was angry, believed that the neighbour will act unfavorably, and perhaps that can be persuaded through verbal pressure.

All that will be easy to "read" by the neighbour, so there is way could have the opposite effect than decided.

Being confident in the result and in his arguments, and not emotional tied to the neighbour, through the letter he could do that better. Also an written argument, with suport in the law, that could be reffered to third parties at the choice of the neighbour, could acted in favour of my friend.

Also could let the common sense, the fear, or the reason fill the mind of the neighbour. (I'm tempted to bet that my friend will disagree on two of them :p :)) )